Aggravation
by RainbowFang
Summary: Sam and Megatron meet up once again on the internet, and Optimus joins in for some more idiocy. Then there's the twist...Vulgar language.
1. Chapter 1: The Plan

A request! Yay! Based on Harrassment by Aina Riddle. And a request.

W00T! *dances*

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**Aggravation **

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Samuel Witwicky plopped down in his computer chair with a can of Dew and a smile on his face. He set the pop down, and cracked his fingers, while booting up his computer with his toe underneath his desk. When it finished, he clicked on his IMing service, and checked for any messages he might have received. He frowned as Megatron's screenname was there, once again.

BBM: I am not finished with you, boy.

Sam snorted, and responded.

Ladiesman217: I'm not finished with you either, Megs.

He smiled, as if daring the huge mech to talk back.

His face suddenly fell as another comment popped up.

BBM: At least I can always just squish you.

Sam sighed, and rubbed at his face. 'Crazy old bastard,' he thought darkly.

Ladiesman217: Oh, just go crawl back in your hole, Megsie.

BBM: No, and I am not 'Megsie' anyway. IT'S MEGATRON!

Ladiesman217: More like Megatard.

BBM: Bite me.

Ladiesman217: Sorry, I'm not into bondage and kinky stuff like that.

BBM: You know what I mean, boy.

Ladiesman217: Go away, okay? I'm suddenly not feeling as happy as I just was.

BBM: Let me fix that for you...

Ladiesman217: By what, making me scream in terror?

BBM: Close enough.

BBM: At least that bumbling Autoscum isn't here.

Sam brightens up at this. Here was his chance.

Ladiesman217: Oh, you mean Optimus?

Ladiesman217: He misses you, you know. Talks about you everyday.

BBM: Shut up. I'm not going /there/ again.

Ladiesman217: Hee hee hee.....

**OnlyBee4U has joined the conversation.**

OnlyBee4U: Hey Sam!

Ladiesman217: Hey Bee.

BBM: Frag.

Ladiesman217: He still won't admit his lust for Prime, Bee. It's frustrating.

BBM: That's because I DON'T LUST FOR PRIME!

OnlyBee4U: Is it me, or is this conversation getting serious?

Ladiesman217: Yeah, seriously stupid.

Ladiesman217: Like Megs.

BBM: Am not, and the name's not Megs!

Ladiesman217: Whatever, pointy.

Ladiesman217: So, Bee, what's up in the garage?

OnlyBee4U: Not much.... Just watching Mojo chase Frankie around like always.

OnlyBee4U: Heh, he just jumped on him from the stairs.

Ladiesman217: Poor Frankie.

BBM: I don't know why I bother with this anymore. It always backfires on me.

**Screamtothestars has joined the conversation.**

Screamtothestars: As usual.

BBM: Starscream, LEAVE!

OnlyBee4U: Your mom is walking up the path, Sam.

Screamtothestars: Make me.

Screamtothestars: I just need to ask Soundwave what my standings are.

AntennaBot: ....Very low.

Ladiesman217: Okay.

Screamtothestars: Slag.

Screamtothestars: I need to provoke him or something....

BBM: I'm right here, Starscream.

Ladiesman217: Oh, hey Soundwave, Screamer.

AntennaBot: Thank you for the welcome, Samuel.

Ladiesman217: Er, okay.

Screamtothestars: This is going nowhere. And hi.

BBM: *facepalm*

BBM: Why do I bother?

Ladiesman217: I gots an idea!

BBM: OH NO! You are not going to do that now, or ever again!

Ladiesman217: *grins*

Ladiesman217: Bee, begin Operation Spark.

OnlyBee4U: Roger.

**ThePrimeSpecimen has joined the conversation.**

BBM: Curse you, boy!

ThePrimeSpecimen: Megatron?

ThePrimeSpecimen: Samuel....

Ladiesman217: What?

OnlyBee4U: *snickers*

Screamtothestars: I'm outta here.

**Screamtothestars has left the conversation.**

AntennaBot: I'm changing my bet.

BBM: You do that, because I am never going to spark with Optimus!

Ladiesman217: We never said that. Why are you thinking about that?

Ladiesman217: And since when are you on a first name basis?

ThePrimeSpecimen: Dear Primus.... I can feel my processor starting to ache.

Ladiesman217: No pain, no gain.

OnlyBee4U: What is the purpose of such an idiotic phrase, anyway?

Ladiesman217: No idea.

BBM: You were thinking it.

Ladiesman217: So you can read minds now? Creepy.

BBM: I hate you.

ThePrimeSpecimen: Leave him alone, Megatron.

BBM: I dare you to stop me.

ThePrimeSpecimen: Maybe I will.

BBM: Come and get me.

ThePrimeSpecimen: Where are you?

BBM: .....Southern Nevada.

ThePrimeSpecimen: So close...

Ladiesman217: This is going somewhere.... *grins*

OnlyBee4U: *grins*

ThePrimeSpecimen: I'll be there.

BBM: Good.

Ladiesman217: Oh my! THEY'RE GONNA SPARK!

AntennaBot: I'm changing my bet again.

Samuel Witwicky smiled, downing the last of his Dew. 'Awesome,' he thought. Prime was actually going to go to Megatron.

Ladiesman217: Good luck, Optimus!

ThePrimeSpecimen: Sam, we are going to fight, not spark.

BBM: Yeah.

Ladiesman217: Somehow I don't believe you.

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Happy birthday, I gave up. Is this bad or what?

-_-' I need humor classes.


	2. Chapter 2: The Consequence

Chappie TWO for all of you still reading my stuff. If it's worse than the first chappie, then just shoot me. I _am_ bad.

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**Aggravation Chapter Two: Did you have fun?**

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Samuel Witwicky plopped down in his computer chair with a can of Dew and a smile on his face. He set the pop down, and cracked his fingers, while booting up his computer with his toe underneath his desk. When it finished, he clicked on his IMing service, and checked for any messages he might have received. He frowned as Megatron's screenname was there, once again. For the second time this week.

BBM: Sam, we need to talk.

BBM: Sam, now.

BBM: BOY, GET TALKING NOW!

BBM: I WILL RIP OFF YOUR FLESH AND FORCE YOU TO EAT IT!

Sam grinned at this. "You're so pathetic, Megs," he said aloud.

Ladiesman217: What now, crackhead?

Sam sipped his pop, watching and waiting for the inevitable.

BBM: FINALLY!

Sam's grin grew wider.

Ladiesman217: You are getting really pathetic in your attempts at threatening me. So what is it?

BBM: Shut up.

BBM: And I need to ask you something, actually, no matter how much I hate to do it...

Ladiesman217: I am actually laughing right now, just so you know.

BBM: Ugh...

BBM: Has Optimus...ever....talked to you about.....er.....

Ladiesman217: I'm waiting.

BBM: Whathelikesinapartner?

Ladiesman217: *reading*

Ladiesman217: What....wait a minute....did you just....dear god.....

Sam cracks up laughing and falls off his chair, narrowly avoiding spilling his Dew everywhere. Mojo barks at him, and wags his tail.

BBM: I shouldn't have asked. Goodbye.

Ladiesman217: NO!

Ladiesman217: WAIT!

BBM: What.

Ladiesman217: Sorry, I was just....er...nevermind.

Ladiesman217: No, he hasn't.

BBM: Oh...Okay.

BBM: What are these feelings in me, Sam? I don't like feeling confused. Tell me, slaggit!

Ladiesman17: Okay, okay! Just keep your pants on, I'm thinking!

Ladiesman217: Alright, I need to know. When Optimus met with you two days ago, what did you two do together? NO LYING!

BBM: Do I have to tell you?

Ladiesman217: Yes. Or I'll tell everyone you asked me that. I have blackmail, thanks to you.

BBM: Frag.

BBM: We....did things....touched....um, licked.....I think I felt his fingers in my thrusters once...I remember putti

Ladiesman217: WOAH! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

BBM: You asked.

Ladiesman217: I know....This is just weird for me, okay?

Ladiesman217: For one, I'm hearing how you guys made out. Second, it's the Autobot leader with YOU, and third, YOU'RE ALIENS, if you haven't noticed.

BBM: Er...

Ladiesman217: *sigh* Okay then. Did you guys actually...

BBM: No. But he said he wants to meet me again, in secret of course.

Ladiesman217: You guys suck at secrecy. Just consider yourselves lucky that I kept Bee from saying anything to the rest of the guys.

BBM: For that I am....grateful...Ugh.

Ladiesman217: You'll get over it.

Ladiesman217: So you wanna know what you're feeling, huh?

BBM: Yes.

Ladiesman217: Hmm...

Ladiesman217: You're either just lusting after him or you love him. Pick one.

BBM: I am not

BBM: I do not

BBM: I do feel kinda

BBM: Fine. I lust after him.

Ladiesman217: Good for you!

BBM: Shut up. And...thanks.....DO NOT TELL ANYONE OR I'LL RIP

Ladiesman217: off my flesh and make me eat it" yeah, I know.

BBM: Ugh.

**BBM has left the conversation.**

Sam snickered, wondering how the heck the Decepticon leader could seem so...normal.

"Maybe he's just looking for love, too," Sam said, looking out his window and taking another swig of his Dew.


	3. Chapter 3: Weeks Later

**Aggravation Chapter Three: After Effects**

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Samuel Witwicky plopped down in his computer chair with a can of Dew and a smile on his face. He set the pop down and cracked his fingers while booting up his computer with his toe underneath his desk. When it finished, he clicked on his IMing service and checked for any messages he might have received. He smirked as Megatron's screenname was there once again. For the tenth time this week.

BBM: Boy, I have something to tell you.

BBM: Don't push my buttons, boy.

BBM: SAM!

Sam laughed out loud at his pathetic desperation. He took a swig of his Dew and began to type.

Ladiesman217: Pointy! I've missed ya!

BBM: The name's not POINTY! For the last time, I. AM. MEGATRON.

Ladiesman217: Somehow I just /knew/you were still online.

BBM: I always am.

BBM: Or at least Soundwave always is.

Anntenabot: True.

Ladiesman217: Soundwave, my man! I've been waiting for my pot!

Anntenabot: ...It is on its way as we speak...

Ladiesman217: Why the pauses?

Anntenabot: My messenger is wary of coming near your place of residence as it is guarded by Bumblebee near 24/7.

Ladiesman217: Why? Who is the messenger?

Anntenabot: Starscream.

BBM: THAT is where he's been? When I get my claws on him...

Ladiesman217: You'll rape him senseless, right? Am I right? C'mon, tell me I'm right?

Anntenabot: Shall we start a new betting pool?

BBM: No fucking way in HELL. END OF STORY.

Ladiesman217: Ooh! Human swearwords now! You've made progress!

BBM: I refuse to touch him in any way other than to show him who his master is.

Ladiesman217: Sexually, of course.

BBM: NO!

Ladiesman217: Oh yes.

BBM: NEVER.

Ladiesman217: Oooooh yeah.

Anntenabot: I think I shall not place a bet and instead allow myself to look into his mind.

BBM: FUCK NO.

Anntenabot: He lies.

BBM: Soundwave! Out of my processor! NOW!

Anntenabot: Primus, he's just full of lust for...pretty much every Cybertronian known to walk Cybertron /and/ Earth.

BBM: Do not.

Ladiesman217: And here I thought he was just lusting after Prime's blue ass.

BBM: ...No-comment.-

Ladiesman217: He's sexy and you know it.

Sam took another sip of his pop with a huge grin on his face. He couldn't believe he'd called Prime sexy, but all's fair in the matters of love and war.

BBM: ...I'll give-him that.-

Sam spewed Dew out of his mouth after he read Megatron's response. He decided to get Bee and Prime involved. Again.

Anntenabot: You should just see what he's already done with Optimus. It's simply amazingly majestically crazy. I cannot unsee what I have just seen.

Ladiesman217: Dear god. Please describe in detail.

**ThePrimeSpecimen has joined the conversation.**

**OnlyBee4U has joined the conversation.**

BBM: For the love of Primus...

ThePrimeSpecimen: What is going on here? I'm-busy!

Anntenabot: Well, the first time they got together, apparently they both went after each others'

Anntenabot: Oh, hello Prime. Sam has just asked me to describe in detail what you and Megatron have done with each other so far.

OnlyBee4U: Something tells me that Cactus is enjoying this. He hasn't talked much from what Sam has told me.

BBM: You fragger, you've ruined my concentration.

Ladiesman217: Of what? Are you trying to sew a pillow together, Twinky?

Anntenabot: Dead petro-rabbit on a crystal: He's doing something quite...Primus.

BBM: Say anything and you're-dead.

Ladiesman217: Why the pause? What the hell is he doing?

Ladiesman217: And why isn't Prime talking?

OnlyBee4U: Wait a minute...

OnlyBee4U: Where is Prime? His comm. is off and he's off my radar!

Ladiesman217: Soundwave, is Optimus with Megatron?

BBM: Keep your ugly trap shut, Soundwave!

Ladiesman217: Ooh! So they are! Yay!

Ladiesman217: And why did you want to talk to me, Pornstar?

BBM: Not important right now-.

ThePrimeSpecimen: Why can't I-leave this chatroom?

BBM: I ca-an't either!

Ladiesman217: Way to go Soundwave!

OnlyBee4U: Why is Starscream trying to land on the roof?

Ladiesman217: Soundwave sent him with my money and shit. Get him on, Soundwave.

Anntenabot: As you wish.

**Screamtothestars has joined the conversation.**

Ladiesman217: Hey man, where are them porno mags I ordered? I need something to fap to here!

Sam laughed at his white lie. He could just see Bee's face at reading that.

Screamtothestars: Isn't that what the Internet is for, fleshling?

Ladiesman217: Or in your case, Megatron's voice.

BBM: Is thi-s true, Starscream?-

Anntenabot: He pleasures himself every night to memories of you beating him and touching him in his processor.

Screamtothestars: DO NOT!

Screamtothestars: I DO for YOU, Soundwave. You love it and you know it.

Anntenabot: ...

BBM: What?-

Sam fell out of his chair and rolled on the floor for a bit, shaking with laughter. Tears started coming out of his eyes.

OnlyBee4U: Primus! It's true, then! Soundwave and Starscream are fragging each other! And here I thought it was just a rumor...

Screamtothestars: Oh, yes. It is /indeed/ true. I'm touching myself right now and he's watching, I just know it.

Anntenabot: -.-.-.-

Ladiesman217: On my roof? And what's up with Soundwave now? First Prime and Megs...wait...

Ladiesman217: FUCK!

Ladiesman217: Bee, I think they're all doin' the dirty deed!

Ladiesman217: Well, at least Megs and Prime are. 'Wave is just fappin' to Screamer fappin'.

OnlyBee4U: Shit.

ThePrimeSpecimen: It took-ooooh-you that long to figure it out?-aaah!

Ladiesman217: Christ. I'm out of here. I've had enough of bot sex for a while now. Bee! Taketh me away!

Ladiesman217: Wait a minute...Screamer! How the fuck and I supposed to get my money and shit now? You're fucking fapping on my roof!

Screamtothestars: Figure-it out your-self.


End file.
